Sweet Recollections

I distinctly remember my first day at the Crossing. I was incredibly nervous. I picked out my best clothes, tried to look as good as possible, be as nice as possible, basically, I wanted to give a really good first impression. And then I lived with these people for nine months so now they know all my quirks. They’ve seen me on my good days and on my bad days. They’ve seen me living in the spirit and living utterly in the flesh. It would be impossible to even begin to capture all the memories, the laughs, and the learning into ten minutes. So instead, I’ll share with you a bit of my testimony: why I went to the Crossing, what God has been doing in my life over the past year, and what God has been teaching me since I’ve been home.

I could possibly say that I decided to go to Bible College for many of the wrong reasons, but I believe God will use anything to bring us closer to Himself. I think my main reason for going to Bible College was because I was thirsty. I knew I needed a deeper relationship with Jesus, but it just wasn’t working for me. I had always seen myself as a ‘good little Christian girl.’ I’m slightly obsessive about following rules. I’ve never really been ashamed of telling people I’m a Christian. I’ve never been one to take part in wild parties or any of the other extremes. So I was thinking to myself: “If I’m so good, why do I feel so bad? I have an amazing family, I have awesome friends, I live in a town that has three Tim Horton’s within walking distance of each other, so why are there days when I still ache inside?” There is no one reason why I chose New Zealand (although the fact that they made Narnia there was sweet as!) but one of those reasons was that I wanted to get away. And I wanted to find out why my relationship with Jesus had gone stale.

It’s a Heart Thing
The first week just about blew my mind! It’s kind of ironic to think though that everything I heard in that week was all stuff my parents, Sunday school teachers, pastors, and youth leaders had endeavoured to teach me time and time again and yet I had to travel half way across the world before I got it! But I have learned that God reveals His truth in His perfect timing. We learned about the Sermon on the Mount that week and I think it could be summed up as “It’s a heart thing.” I learned that law can only make me aware of how sinful I really am. And I learned that all my actions, whether I’m acting out in anger in response to someone else, worrying, holding a grudge, or being impatient, are not so much reactions as they are a revelation of what is in my heart. And it is only the saving life of Jesus Christ in me that can change my heart. But as a Christian, I also learned that I have a choice. I can either live for myself, fulfilling the desires of my flesh, or I can love for God, allowing Him to get the glory


God Demands all the Glory
And that leads me to my second point: God deserves all the glory, point final. I’d like to share a poem with you that I wrote after my first week at The Crossing:
Lost For Words
I am spectacularly, wonderfully
Lost for words
You amaze me, astound me
Take my breath away
I am lost in Your presence
And now I understand
My life is nothing more than Your story
I live for nothing less than Your glory
I am lost to myself
You indwell me, live through me
You do all things for Your glory alone
I have died to myself
So that You can live through me
It’s not about me
It’s for You
For Your glory!

Seeing God as He is
One of the most important things I learned at the Crossing was about who God is. I tend to see God first and foremost as a God of perfect live – which He is – while forgetting that He is also a God of perfect wrath. No one in the Bible hugs God on their first encounter. Upon further investigation, we found that everyone falls to their face, fears for their life, or is rendered speechless. I never realized that God is more like a lion than a lamb: able to tear me to pieces. But I know that, because of the righteousness of Christ that clothes me, I can approach the throne of God with both dignity, but also complete humility. “The dignity comes from the fact that I’m now worthy to come at all times; the humility comes from the fact that I had absolutely nothing to do with this worthiness.” I realized that I have been worshiping a god that I have made small and nice and gentle. But now I realize that I want to know God for who He is, not as I would prefer Him to be.

Catching my own fish
I realized very early on that the reason I was so hungry was because I wasn’t eating! Don’t you hate those mornings when you sleep through your alarm? You spend the next 20 minutes dashing madly around the house, throwing your books into your bag, splashing some water on your face, picking out something half decent to wear (that’s right, you forgot to put the clothes in the dryer last night!). Finally, you’re ready to go and in your eagerness to leave the house, you almost lock your keys inside. And it’s not until half way through your first class or your important meeting that your stomach begins to growl. “Hmmm,” you think to yourself, “maybe I put on the wrong shirt this morning. That must be why my stomach is growling.” So, during the next break, you head discretely to the bathroom to change (lucky you threw that extra shirt in your bag this morning!). When that doesn’t work, you decide to try giving your hair a good comb. But your stomach is still growling, so you attempt to make friends with the class mate at the desk next to you or the co-worker in the cubicle across the aisle. Ok, so this story is a little dumb, but, unfortunately, it’s true! Yep, that’s me! For way too long, my spiritual stomach was growling and I tried everything other than spiritual food!
God taught me that He doesn’t want me to simply identify with Him, He wants me to Assimilate Him. When Jesus shared the Passover meal with His disciples, He told them to eat Him and drink Him. In the same way, as I eat my bowl of cheerio’s and drink my OJ for the nourishment of my body, ‘eating and drinking Jesus’ needs to be of utmost importance to me since it is my spiritual nourishment.
I heard about a guy who, for a scientific experiment, ingested a small amount of radioactive substance. Using some high tech scientific gizmo placed by the guy’s toes, they were able to determine that it took 6 seconds for the radioactive stuff to enter his blood stream and make its way all the way to his toes. Thus proving that you really are what you eat! Jesus calls us to “be perfect, therefore, as you heavenly father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48). I can’t do that, but God can. And so, it is by getting to know Him intimately – by spending time daily in His word and in prayer – that He can begin to transform me.

My daily quiet time has become very valuable to me and God is faithful and keeps revealing nuggets of gold buried in His word.

The End of Myself
I think that the hardest lesson for me (and the one that I am still learning, will it ever cease?) is that I need to come to the end of myself before God can truly work through me. Because I love illustrations, I’d like to share one with you that really helped me to understand just how much I need to rely on God.
Imagine a glove on a table. Now imagine asking the glove to pick up a book. No matter how many times you ask or whether you say please, the glove can’t do anything on its own. It’s only once you put your hand in the glove that it is capable of anything. In the same way, I can do nothing without God. This has been a difficult lesson for me because I can do stuff! I can tie my shoes and count by twos, but it is only when I allow Christ to work through me that anything of eternal value can be accomplished.

Coming Home
I’ve barely begun to skim everything that God has taught me over the past year. And He has been incredibly faithful to continue to teach me and to show me that He is in control. On my way home, I was meant to fly from Christchurch to Sydney then from Sydney to Vancouver and then on to Montreal. Unfortunately, the plane was two hours late leaving Christchurch because they had shipped a defective part to the wrong airport and so had not finished fixing the plane. This meant that I was two hours late arriving in Sydney and had arrived exactly 15 minutes after the only flight to Vancouver had taken off. So I booked a ticket out for the following day, found a hotel, and spent the night in Sydney. The neat thing was that I could have been nervous, I could have freaked out, but I had a sense of peace the whole time because I knew that God was in control and that He was working all things out for His glory. I had no idea why I had to spend the night in Sydney, but I also knew that I didn’t’ need to know, just so long as God got the glory. It was only two hours into the 15 hour flight to Vancouver that I found out. I got to talking to the guys next to me and eventually He asked what it meant to be a Christian. I then spent the next five hours explaining the entire progress of redemption to Him! All the way from Creation, the fall, Abraham, and the sojourn in Egypt to Jesus’ death and resurrection! God is faithful and God is in control!!!!!!!!!

Fond Memories
I have heaps of fond memories of The Crossing. Like having porridge with peanut butter every morning. Or walking into town along the river bed. It should have taken us about 40 minutes and, according to the director, the river was low enough that we could walk the whole way without getting wet, but it ended up taking almost two hours and we all waded through knee deep, freezing cold water. Then there was the time where I ate a live fish... Or receiving mail! Whenever anyone got a package, we would all gather around as the goodies were unpacked. My Mum sent me a package that included a shirt and some backed goods, but the shirt smelled like cinnamon cookies for a week! I’ll miss staying up late, sitting by the open fire and talking about anything and everything with the fifteen students I grew to know and love. I’ll miss the people, I’ll miss the places, but it’s so good to be home, and God has been incredibly faithful to continue to teach me and guide me.

Travelling Adventures

Day 1
So, it would seem that traveling is always an adventure and it’s always the things you least expect that seem to go wrong. I seem to remember that on my way here, the only part of my trip that fell through was the only confirmed part. Ironically, that seem to be what has happened again this time! I was excited to find out that I had a confirmed seat number on the flight from Christchurch to Sydney two hours before the plane took off. Unfortunately, due to engine problems, the plane took off two hours later than planned, meaning that I completely missed my transfer out of Sydney (the only flight that day).

On the bright side, I did get to see two beautiful postcards from God. Since we left later in the morning, the sun had already risen and was beautifully illuminating the snow covered mountains that draped themselves across the island. The clouds spilled over the mountains into the valleys in small cascades. And from my vantage point, I could see right across New Zealand, from the west coast right to the east coast! The second postcard was delivered as we descended towards Sydney. As we came through the clouds, we discovered the brightest rainbow I have ever seen, right before our eyes!

Once in Sydney, I found a reasonably priced hotel, bought some tea (supper that is), toured around the area on foot for a while, then settled into my hotel room for the night. We will see what adventures tomorrow brings! I have found much comfort today in Psalm 127:1-2 and, as we were taking off from Christchurch, I paraphrased it to suit the circumstances: “Unless the Lord holds the plain, the pilot flies in vain.” It’s so awesome to know that God is in control. I don’t know why He had me stay the night in Sydney, but I don’t need to know just so long as He gets the glory!

Day 2
I know why God had me stay the night in Sydney! I got to spend somewhere between 5 and 7 of the fifteen hours in the air explaining the entire progress of redemption to the guy sitting next to me! He was asking tons of questions and was really interested. WAY COOL!!!! I didn’t get to witness a miraculous conversion, but obviously, God wanted me on that plane, so we will see what He does. Who knows, maybe, hopefully, I’ll meet this guy in heaven some day!

Because of this really long conversation, I didn’t get any sleep on my fifteen hour flight and only slept fitfully on the short flight from Vancouver to Montreal. Needless to say, I am slightly tired at the moment. But oh well!! I’m uber excited that God allowed me to share His gospel!!!

Oh, and I’ll share two God-incidences with you: once I had rebooked my flight in Sydney, I sat down to figure out what I should do next. When I looked up, I was sitting right in front of the prayer room. And, before going to bed, I set the alarm and just put it on the only radio station that was playing music. It turns out it was a Christian radio station so I got to have my own mini worship service! I guess God was just showing me that He is in control of every circumstance and that none of what was happening was random circumstance.


Back home
Ok, so I’m really tired now! I couldn’t get to sleep last night so at 4am, I got up and made pancakes for everyone for breakfast

JumpStart

As you may or may not know, I decided a while back to stay in New Zealand for an extra week at Dale’s request in order to help out at JumpStart, a camp for high school aged kids held at and run by the Crossing. All the kids were home schooled which meant that they were an incredibly easy group. In fact, just after everyone arrived, Amber, Kelsey, and Joseph were heading out so we left all the kids in the formal lounge to hang out on their own as we said our tearful goodbyes out side.

For the majority of the week, I got to work with Sheryl in the kitchen. I made cookies, chopped and fried way too many onions, washed dishes, cleaned, and generally had a blast. On Tuesday, I also got to share a devotion with the kids. I shared on Numbers 13, where the spies come back from the promised land and give a bad report, convincing the Israelites not to enter the land. God then tells them that all of them will die in the desert and that only their children will enter the land. At this, they decide to muster up their courage and enter the land, even though neither Moses nor the Ark went with them. Basically, the point was that God wants obedience, even when we don’t understand, not courage and self effort. It was really neat to have Dale and Kris (the two teachers for the week) tell me afterwards that what I shared nicely emphasized what Kris had just shared and led in to what Dale was about to share. Pretty cool how God works, eh?

I believe Jordan was in charge of most of the JumpStart activities (probably because he will be coming back to the Crossing as an intern next year). He got the kids playing some pretty awesome games like capture the flag and the plate game (a crazy game that involves tackling and getting pretty dirty).

On Thursday, Dale let me go to Bible in Schools one last time since a replacement for Jonas and my class had not yet been found. Thankfully, God provided a replacement just in time and she was able to come sit in on the class so that she will be able to take over right where we left off.

On Friday, I said a teary good bye to everyone who was left at The Crossing and headed into Christchurch with Sheryl’s family to begin my trek home.

As We Leave the Crossing...

Here's the poem I wrote for grad (called "As We Leave the Crossing...")

Maybe it’s time for a redefinition
Time for a difference, a change of position
We’ve been placed here, brought here, given a mission
For such a time as this

We’ve been taught, we’ve been trained, and now it’s time to go
I don’t want to leave but somehow I know
God has placed us here for just a short time
To tell us over and over “Beloved, you are mine.

“Don’t depend on the future; don’t dwell on the past,
I’ll be your strength to do whatever I ask
Be diligent today with what’s I’ve placed before you
Trust that I’m faithful to call and to do”


Facing the world now seems a daunting task
Dealing with old burdens, is it too much to ask?
But stand firm in His Word and in Him delight
Meditate on His precepts all day and all night.

Allow Him to reveal what’s in your heart of hearts
And trust that He’s good as He cleans your inner parts
Moment by moment, choose what He tells you is best
Give it all up to Him, He’ll take care of the rest!

Remember that God is unchanging, eternal
He loves us the same, He will always be faithful
He’s demands all the glory, He’s the lion and the lamb
He’s our ruler, our king, the perfect I AM

Maybe it’s time for a redefinition
Time for a difference, a change of position
God has placed us here, brought us here,
Now He sends us on a mission
For such a time as this

Happy Birthday to Me!

For my birthday on Wednesday, Sheryl made me apple pie! Not only that, but she saved a piece for me so that I could have a piece reheated for breakfast on Thursday. Joel and Michael did a rap for me for which the lyrics follow:
Angela Tracy
Quebec is where you’re from
4x-2bπr2/501πxz is the equation
Only you really know what it is
Science is the shiz nits

Door knobs are such a great invention
Angela, you’ll probably invent the toaster

The Bible is the Word
My jacket is blue with stripes
It’s been raining for three days
Because New Zealand doesn’t want you to go
Firewood is great for fire
Trees are great for growing
Just like how you are great for us
Don’t worry
Apples, rainbows, bananas
Some of those you eat
Like an alley cat
Angy-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Happy birthday!

Since it became known that, since I was really young, I wanted to get married when I was 20 years old, Gen tried to convince Joel (as a joke) to propose to me. They were bribing him with a chocolate covered coffee bean. I knew about the whole plan (Gen made sire I was ok with it :P), so don’t worry! Anyway, he didn’t end up doing it, but I thought it would be really funny! Other awesome things that happened on my birthday: my family called (thanks for calling even though I wasn’t there to answer!!!), people sang happy birthday to me in French, I got French birthday balloons, I had white bait for supper (the same kind I ate raw at the beginning of the year, only this time they were cooked), and we watched “how to find a spouse” by Charles Price (ironic? Lol!).

Week 29

This week, Lincoln Badger taught us on the book of acts and we had a DVD lecture on servant leadership by Satish John. It was an excellent way to finish off a year of classes. It has been tough over the past week realizing again and again how little time we have left.

On our last night at the Timaru youth group on Wednesday, the kids had a mini birthday party for Adam and I (Adam turned 20 on May 15th and I will turn 20 on the 26th). Bethany brought us sacks, fruit, and chocolate cheesecake.

On Friday night, Joseph got permission from Dale to show all three “Back From the Future” movies in a row. We started at 8:30pm (after Adam and Kelsey got back from Kids Alive) and finished the last one at 2am. They were super stressful but it was tons of fun! Needless to say, I was rather tired on Saturday. It didn’t help that I had to get up relatively early to clean up from breakfast.

On Sunday evening, we had our last Sunday night fellowship. All the Capers prepared and shared a testimony of what we have learned in class this year. After fellowship, we went to Patti’s for our Secret Sister revealing. We made sushi (under Gen’s instruction) then exchanged gifts.

Journal Week 29

- I need to let God be God in my life, then He can begin to transform me into someone useful for people and for God. I will be ineffective if I choose my own plans, my own missions, and what I am comfortable with.

- As a servant leader, I need to walk in fear of God and always have the Word of God on my lips. To serve God, I am to worship Him in every aspect of my life, to study His word, lay it on my heart, and meditate on it, and to be a witness to others of the hope that is within me.

- Saying “I have no time” is basically saying that I am still in control of my time, not God. It is saying that I am not available to God.

- One person on their knees is more powerful than a thousand pastors who don’t pray!

- Our goal shouldn’t be to bring the best men and women into the church to build the ministry, but to equip the best men and women to send them out into the world.

- Prayer should be my priority!

Week 28 (and a little bit of 29)

Last Thursday was our second to last family night, but instead of having an evening activity, we left right after lunch for Lake Tikapo (a 1 ½ hour drive away). We spent the afternoon skating on what I think is New Zealand’s only outdoor skating rink. We spent at least two hours on the ice and I got to learn how to turn properly. We then spent the evening at the Epps enjoying fish and chips and hanging out together by the warmth of their fireplace.

The project that was due last Friday was a written testimony of what we have learnt in class over the year. It was a really tough assignment and it took me quite a while to write up because of the sheer volume of stuff I have learned! I ended up putting it together in the form of a poem.

Werner talked on the book of James last week. It was quite appropriate that Werner, the teacher that always emphasises that most of scripture is descriptive (of what your life will look like with Christ in it) as opposed to prescriptive (telling you what to do). It was really neat though because God gave me a new understanding of what the book of James is really about. Here is a paragraph from my journal entry that describes what I learnt:
“Faith without deeds is dead” does not mean that if I have to earn my salvation but rather James is giving us a way to test if our faith is genuine. If I have deeds (motivated by a love for Christ), it shows that I have a genuine faith (John 14:12a). Other ways James gives to test the authenticity of faith is the tongue (what we say reveals what is in my heart. It is impossible for man to tame the tongue, therefore a tame tongue proves that the Spirit is in a person) and wisdom (Christ is our wisdom). But I am not to concentrate on having wisdom or taming my tongue, but on having Christ. Christ gives me the power to have works, a tame tongue, and wisdom, but I have to use it.

On Friday after lunch, the guys headed out to Akaroa and us girls headed up to Hamner Springs for our last guy/girl weekend. We had rented a little house (that looked just like the Flintstone’s house) just outside of town. It took us almost five hours (instead of three) to get there though because the car broke down (funny how the car broke down on our last girl weekend too!). On Saturday, we had nice relaxing morning, a late breakfast/early lunch, we did some shopping/browsing, and in the evening, we went to the hot springs. We spent most of the day just chatting. In fact, after shopping, we sat in a cafe chatting for about an hour before heading back to the house where we chatted for another hour over tea. After tea, we headed down to the hot springs where we relaxed and chatted for another hour and a half. In the evening, we watched “10 Things I Hate About You.” It’s funny how my perspective on movies has changed. I found it very difficult to enjoy the movie because it displayed very worldly relationships and very worldly ways of dealing with conflict and yet they made it seem as if it could all really work out in real life. On Sunday, we had our own little worship service where we shared about what God has been teaching us.

After tea on Sunday, since we had fellowship that night, we had our ‘quiet hour.’ I knew that I had some issues that I needed to give up to God so I spent the hour in prayer. When I came down for fellowship, I prayed that God would speak to me through the lecturer and I was absolutely convinced that God would speak to me and that it would be exactly what I needed to hear. And guess what? He did speak to me, and it was exactly what I needed to hear, and it was absolutely not what I expected! It was so cool! And then on Monday, God once again orchestrated events perfectly to deal with the issues that had been brought up during quiet hour. What a faithful God we serve!

I think I may have forgotten to mention, we have a new face at the Crossing. Gen (Genevieve), who was a student here at the same time as Hanna, has come back on staff to help Dale with paperwork, to organize missions trips, and to teach a missions class next year. Gen is from Singapore. She loves to wear bright colours that seem to fit her fun personality. Although she would describe herself as an introvert by nature, she tells me that God has been working in her life and teaching her to be more outgoing. She was a missionary in Niger for a few years before coming to Bible college so she has lots of experience that she will be able to impart to future students. She has already been a tremendous blessing to us girls simply by sharing the wisdom God has given her.

For this coming Friday, we will all be working on our final book study on “Be Ye Transformed” by Nancy Missler. It should be interesting as there are very mixed feelings about this book. On the one hand, it is the book that we have had the most fun laughing about and tearing apart. On the other hand, it is probably the book that has taught me the most practically (and there are other students who would agree with me).

Journal Week 28

- God has clothed me in a robe of righteousness. If I try to stitch my own robe (by obeying the law), it’s like a hospital gown. It looks perfect from where I can see, but when I turn around, it’s wide open.

- Trials show me where I am at and bring conviction. They don’t produce faith, they simply test whether my faith is genuine. Trials without faith lead to bitterness and resentment but trial with faith lead to spiritual maturity and dependence on God. I simply need to persevere (“remain upright”) under trials and allow Christ to be my sufficiency through them.

- “Faith without deeds is dead” does not mean that if I have to earn my salvation but rather James is giving us a way to test if our faith is genuine. If I have deeds (motivated by a love for Christ), it shows that I have a genuine faith (John 14:12a). Other ways James gives to test the authenticity of faith is the tongue (what we say reveals what is in my heart. It is impossible for man to tame the tongue, therefore a tame tongue proves that the Spirit is in a person) and wisdom (Christ is our wisdom). But I am not to concentrate on having wisdom or taming my tongue, but on having Christ. Christ gives me the power to have works, a tame tongue, and wisdom, but I have to use it.

- My responsibility is to exercise the spiritual gifts God has given me through the natural talents and abilities He has given me. I also need to not be ashamed of the people of God, of the name of Jesus (because He is what distinguishes our God from every other god), and the gospel of Christ (I need to be willing to ‘pull the trigger – present the gospel – whenever God gives me the opportunity).

- When self-thoughts or emotions come up, I need to immediately confess them to God, repent, and give them over to God. I then need to refill on God’s word.

Journal Week 27

- In 1 Corinthians, Paul emphasises that both marriage and celibacy are gifts. The most important thing is making the most of where I am now. As a single person, I can have ministries that a married person can’t have or I can serve in such a way as to bless married couples by taking jobs that would normally take away from their family time.

- As a single person... I need to work on being the right person (totally focused on God) than finding the right person to marry. I need to have a realistic and biblical perspective on marriage. I need to be wise concerning who I marry, desiring nothing less than God’s best. I also need to remember that marriage will become my first and most important ministry.

- Doctrine (established truths in the scripture) is extremely important. I need to make sure that any doctrine is fully supported by scripture.

- When God calls a person to ministry, it may feel as though at first they are backsliding. This is because God allows a period of testing and a period where He is preparing them for the ministry He has called them to. I therefore need to remember to serve God where I am, regardless of circumstance.

- In Paul’s description of deacons and elders in 1 Timothy, there is nothing about talent or giftedness but only with character.

- The best diet is the Word, the best exercise is righteousness! (1Timothy 4:8)

- If I am in ministry some day, I have to remember to feed on the word for myself.

- I need to flee from and get as far away as possible from any form of temptation. This includes the temptation that comes from money (1Timothy 6:6-10)

- True contentment is coming to the point where I need nothing else in addition to my relationship with Jesus in order to be satisfied and fulfilled. True contentment is independent of external circumstances. It is not freedom from the battle but peace in the midst of the battle. It has to do with perspective: whether I am looking at life through my eyes or through God’s eyes.To be content, I need to constantly build a relationship with Christ that is independent of external circumstances. And it is through the tougher circumstances that God will teach me to be content in Him. I need to learn from the past but not dwell on it. I need to make the most of today and not depend on tomorrow. And I need to surrender myself to God.

Week 27

Joseph decided to put up a swing in the yard this week. As he walked through the house with rope and swing in hand, Joel (H.) jumped up and offered to help. On the way to the back yard, they debated whether the sun or dogs were man’s best friend (Joel saying that it was the sun and Joseph debating the position of dogs). After laughing at their crazy antics for a while (Joseph trying to throw the rope over a very high branch and Joel just being his own wacky self), Michael ran to grab his camera before joining them by the tree. Soon, Kelsey joined the group by the tree and her laughter drifted over to where I sat watching. It wasn’t long before Rob came out of the house to observe that was going on and he too watched and was soon helping the group create makeshift belaying equipment to get Joseph up to the branch so that he could secure the rope. That’s when I went over to take pictures. And by the time the swing was finally in place, Adam and Kris (our teacher for the week) were also out there giving advice on the best way to make the swing even. And throughout it all, the ten doves that live in the tree watched from the roof or the house, a safe distance away. Such is life at the Crossing.

This week, Kris Baines taught us on a variety of topics including ‘Marriage, Divorce, and Singleness,’ 1 Timothy, ‘Keys to Contentment,’ ‘How to Biblically Evaluate a Movie and Have Fun Doing It,’ and ‘Eternal Death, Eternal Life.’ I think that the main thing I got out of lectures this week was the importance of being faithful and content where I am right now. I shouldn’t be living in anticipation of the future but rather using every opportunity God places in front of me today knowing that He is good. After all, by complaining, I’m basically saying that what He’s doing isn’t good enough.

Saturday evening, the Geraldine youth came over for an evening of soccer, capture the flag, worship, devotions, campfires, and an excellent bbq supper. I spent most of the evening in the kitchen preparing and cleaning up and had a blast doing it. After they left, we watched ‘The Soloist,’ a very touching movie about a man who was once a professional musician and who winds up on the streets because of schizophrenia. I got to put into practice what Kris taught us about biblically evaluating a movie!

On Sunday afternoon, we went over to the Andrews (a family from the church) for a Maori style Hungi. Basically, we dug a hole in the ground while chunks of iron (I think it was iron...) and large rocks were getting hot in a blazing fire. While this was happening, a bunch of us were chopping and preparing meat and vegetables which we placed in a wire basket lined with cabbage leaves (to keep the meat from burning but to allow some heat through). When the rocks and iron were hot, we put them in the hole and put the basket on top covered in wet blankets. We also put some water in the hole so that the food would cook and remain moist. We then covered the whole thing with lots of dirt so that no steam was escaping. While the food was cooking (it took 3 hours) we took turns tearing around a track the Andrews made in their old beat-up car, doing 360s, spitting up clouds of dust, and just having a blast!

Journal Week 26

- I need to lay scripture on my heart by memorizing it then I need to meditate on it: I need to receive it, personalize it, and apply it.

- The purpose of studying the Bible is to obey! I need to not only learn God’s commands but put them to practice. God is not impressed by my intentions. Imagine if Noah had said “Well, I really tried to build that ark...”

- The word of God is complete, totally inspired by God, without error, unchanging, profitable, practical, POWERFUL, it cannot diminish or decay, it is indestructible, and it is eternal.

- The belt of truth: the belt was the piece of armour that held every other piece of armour in it’s proper place. Therefore, I need to be grounded in Christ (that is truth). I cannot tolerate even a little bit of error mixed in with His truth (it would be like putting up with just a tiny bit of dog poop in a batch of brownies).

- I should be more excited by the person of Christ than by deciphering prophecy.

- No one can be deceived until they first reject what they know to be true.During the thousand year reign of Christ, tribulation saints will still be having children and repopulating the earth. Although everyone will outwardly serve Christ, it will be from the children of the tribulation saints that Satan will construct his army when he comes back one final time. This shows that even given the perfect circumstances, man will still do wrong!

Journal week 25

- Samson was an idiot! But his account makes it obvious that God will use us, whether we do what He wants or run in the opposite direction. In all situations, God is in control.

- The primary role of prophesy is not to tell the future but to reveal the person on Christ.

- Christ must be preeminent in my life, not prominent (one among many)

- Living the Christian life is not what I’m being delivered from but who I am being delivered to and that is Christ.

- When Daniel had to interpret Nebuchadnezzar’s dream, the first thing he did was call his friends to prayer and fasting. In the same way, I need to view prayer as a first resort not as a last ditch effort.

- God reveals things to me, not so that I may have more information, but so that He can transform me.

- Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were obedient to God even though it meant a trip through the fiery furnace. They based their obedience not on the perceived results, but rather simply trusted that God’s plan was best. Also, they knew God could save them from the flames, but they trusted that God would bring about the outcome that would bring Him the most glory, even if that meant death for the three friends.

- When I go through the fiery furnaces of life, the only thing that God burns away are the sins that keep me from intimate fellowship with Him. The safest place was the fire because that is where God is.

- Am I in complete submission to God? Who decides where I live, what I do, who I date, who I marry, what I eat, what I wear, what I say, what I think, what I read, what I watch...

- Brokenness, what God desires from me, is simply ‘no will of my own,’ total submission to and dependence on Christ.

- Children should be included in prayer meetings so that they can learn how to pray. Also, children should be taught to ‘eat’ and memorize scripture and the truths contained in God’s word should not be dumbed down for them.

- The role of the tribulation is not judgment but mercy because it will bring a great multitude to Himself.

- When I complain, it is basically saying that I think that what God is doing is not good enough

- Christ needs to be my sufficiency: everything I need to sustain, support, and nourish myself should be in Christ. I need to abide in Christ through moment by moment decisions to rely fully on Him, not simply doing a one hour quiet time each day. It must be a lifestyle, not a ‘good habit’

- I look forward to seeing my family again because I know and love them, how much more should I then be looking forward to the appearance of Jesus? Do I have eyes only for my bridegroom or am I distracted by the world?

- Pride is the sin that cause Satan to fall. If I aim ‘up,’ God will make it His aim to bring me down. Instead, I need to humble myself (meaning “no will of my own”).

- I need to recognize that I am in a spiritual battle. But God is not simply an equal but opposite opponent to Satan, He is ultimately in control and even Satan can do nothing that God does not allow Him to do.

- Demons first agenda is to tempt us to sin, but God will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can handle through His strength (but not all temptation is from demons). Demons can also possess (but as a Christian, I cannot be possessed because I have the indwelling spirit of Christ).

- Demons can deceive unbelievers (causing them to worship idols), but an unbeliever cannot be deceived until they first reject the truth. As a believer, I can also be deceived. Demons will attempt to sidetrack Christians by corrupting the truth.

- When it comes to angels, we have a completely passive role. I am not to pray to them or to worship them in any way. They never initiate anything, they are simply God’s messengers in carrying out God’s will.

- I need to respond to these spiritual truths, not with fear, but by firmly planning myself in God’s truth (Eph 6:10-18)

Week 26

This week was our second week of teaching by Jerry Benjamin on end times prophecy (he would correct me here saying that it is the revelation of Jesus Christ through end times event). It’s been good to get grounded in the proper perspective of Revelation, which is as showing the character of God rather than primarily about a sequence of events.

Wednesday was a really cool day for Adam and I because we got to lead the Timaru youth group. We really just wanted to present something in a way that would keep the kids focused, involved, thinking, and hopefully excited about the Word of God. While reading through Ephesians, I came across a passage (1:15-20) that basically summarized our prayer for the kids so we decided to do that. But other than what passage we were going to study, we really had no idea where we were going with the message so we spent tons of our prep time simply praying that God would reveal to us what and how He wanted us to present. The night before, after at least an hour of prep, we both went to bed kind of bummed thinking that either the whole thing would flop (according to our estimation, we had enough material to fill half an hour of the hour and a half we were meant to fill) or God would do something awesome and it would be amazing. As I was falling asleep, God seemed to ‘suggest’ that we should let them tear the passage apart by simply giving them guiding questions and then allow them to come up with their own applications. Anyway, our Bible study ended up finishing right on time (taking the full hour and a half) so that we didn’t have to use our time filler game. The kids were focussed, listening, and giving their input. Some of them blew us away with the depth of the stuff they were coming out with! Basically, it wasn’t us, because if it had of been, it would have flopped. Instead, God totally used us! We were pretty excited!

On Thursday, we had our first family night of the semester. With four of our student body gone, we all do family night together now instead of splitting into two groups. We all learned how to lawn bowl and it was tons of fun! Bryan and I lost every single game, but we did have some pretty good rounds! My legs are now really sore from the repeated kneeling!

After the game, as we got back to the Crossing, Dale was driving by so a bunch of us jumped onto his car. He actually drove us half way into town with three of us hanging on to the back, one of us on the hood, and two of us handing onto the side windows. At the highway he pulled over and we all crammed into the car (three of us were in the trunk!) and Dale drove us to town where we got ice cream (at 10pm!). We had a blast, laughing the whole way!

Jenny, a lady from the church, invited us girls to sleep over at her house for the weekend. It was really refreshing to have a good conversation with her and her daughter. I’ve found that it is increasingly difficult to have a deep conversation with people at the Crossing. Us girls will often talk like that when we’re alone, but as a whole group it seems to be a challenge, making for rather quiet meals.

On Saturday, I went with Jenny and her grandchildren to Josh’s rugby game (Josh is the son of Werner, one of our teachers). And on Sunday afternoon, Jenny took us all for a drive to Mesopotamia (that’s the name of a place an hour outside of Geraldine). The drive was beautifully scenic and we had tons of fun and lots of good conversation. It was such a blessing to get away for the weekend and it actually felt really good to come home afterwards.

On Monday for quiet day, I went out to Peel Forest where I hiked, prayed, read, fell asleep (only for a little while :P). It was a nice relaxing day simply spent with Jesus, especially after two weeks of hearing Jerry Benjamin’s teaching (which Colin described as drinking from a fire hose).

A few photos from Easter break!

"Tell everybody I'm on my way, new friends and new places to see!" Bryan, Adam, me, Cara, and JB heading out in White Betty (the car we borrowed from a couple at the church).

JB and Brian taking a break on the way to the glacier near Mount Cook


Cara and I at lake Tekapo


Waking up surrounded by mountains after freedom camping in Wanaka (JB, Bryan, Jonas and Michael. Cara was there as well, she just didn't make it into the picture)

Michael lost in the maze at Puzzling World in Wanaka

The sign at the exit of the church we visited on Easter in Queenstown

Fergburger in Queenstown!!! (That's Cara and me) And yes, the burger is really that big, it is not trick photography!

Adam, Bryan, Joel, and JB on the luge in Queenstown

Milford Sound, some black and white photography


Me, JB, Cara, and Adam at Cadbury World in Dunedin


Penny and I at a bay just outside Christchurch

Week 25

It’s been good to be back at the Crossing. We all miss Amber, Cara, Ben, and Jordan. Cara and Jordan’s banter is absent from mealtimes. Joel (Hepner) has gotten louder without Amber here to be the loudest. Bingo is slightly less lively without Ben as the leader of the pro-bingo party. But from the news we have received from them so far, ABS (Adventure Bible College) is fun and the people are great.

This week, Jerry Benjamin has been teaching us on the book of Daniel. Next week he will be going over Revelation. I think that the main ideas that I have come away with is that the most important thing about prophecy is not the events that it speaks of but the sovereign, faithful God it points to. Also, while pointing to Christ, prophecy should cause us to worship and thank God.

On Friday evening, Michael and I went to dance lessons in Geraldine (given by the lady who taught ballroom dancing at the Crossing one evening last semester). We learnt/perfected the waltz and she taught us a form of swing (the lindy hop).

On Saturday afternoon, a bunch of us went out shooting with one of the guys from the church. We shot at clay pigeons and targets placed at various distances. I managed to hit quite a we of the clay pigeons but those guns have quite a kick so I didn’t spend too long shooting.

Saturday night was wonderful, just chilling out by the fire listening to Joel (B.) on the guitar, JJ (Bryan’s friend) on the base, and Bryan on the drums jamming and worshiping God. Jonas sat by the fire carving a knife out of a chunk of wood. Michael, Sheryl, and Joseph were lost in their own books. Alex and Stephen (two more of Bryan’s friends) were chatting. All of this inspired the following poem:

A Familiar Scene

Sitting by the fire
Huddling in the warmth
Lost in a good book
Embraced in music
Played by those we love
Sipping a hot drink
Letting time pass by
Living every moment
Hearing every heartbeat
Singing every song

On Sunday evening, we had an open fellowship, meaning that we invited people from the community to come in for an hour of teaching followed by supper (an evening snack). Jerry Benjamin taught us on the Jewish wedding and how it paints a picture of our relationship with Christ.

Pikelets

I am compiling a book of all our favorite recipes here at the Crossing and thought I'd share a few of them with you! This one is the recipe for Pikelets, which are basically like sweet pancakes topped with jam and whiped cream. They make for an excelent snack to serve to guests (but they may be a tad messy :P).

Pikelets
1 cup Flour
¼ tsp Salt
1 tsp Cream of Tartar
½ Baking Soda
2 tsp Sugar
1 Egg
1 tbsp Golden Syrup
¼ cup Milk
¼ cup Water

Sift dry ingredients into a bowl. Add sugar. Drop in egg and syrup. DO NOT MIX. Pour in water. Mix well, but do not overmix. Cook in large frying pan. Top with jam and whipped cream.

Te Mapua Camp, Easter Break Week 2

For the second week of Easter break, I volunteered as a counsellor at Te Mapua. This camp had a very different vision behind it than any other AmyBoss has ever run. This time, the camp, instead of being an evangelical thing, had the purpose of discipleship. The fifty campers were selected by the Te Mapua staff from their ‘God’s Warriors’ kids (a youth group that meets every Tuesday night) who have professed Jesus to be their saviour and were demonstrating a hunger to go deeper in their faith. This meant that the camp was much more relaxed because the staff knew all the kids and the kids knew the staff and knew the Te Mapua standards from attending God’s Warriors.

We got to talk to the kids about the role of the Holy Spirit in their lives, we got in depth into worship and what it is and what it means, and we had sessions on how to approach the Bible. It was really neat to see the kids getting excited about reading their Bibles and worshiping God.

God taught me one really cool thing through one of the kids at camp, and that is that these kids are capable of understanding so much more than we give them credit for. So often in kids ministries, I try to dumb down the content and bring it down to their level when in fact, they are perfectly capable of understanding complex spiritual topics. The only way material needs to be ‘dumbed down’ is the time since kids can sit and concentrate for much shorter periods of time than adults.

Anyway, there was this one girl there who was the same age as my sister, had the same name as my sister, looked like my sister, and even had similar hobbies and interests to my sister. Because she reminded me so much of my sister, I was able to talk to her like I would my sister and that made me realise that I could do that for all the kids there.

The last evening of camp, a bunch of the kids’ parents and neighbours came out and the kids presented the gospel to them through dance, testimony, ‘wordless book’ beads, and worship. The kids even led their parents in a prayer of salvation.

As is the norm for Te Mapua camps, all the leaders spent the night after camp at AmyBoss’ house for debrief. In the morning, since it was one of the leader’s birthday, we celebrated by having chocolate cake and left over cooking (from camp) for breakfast.

I met up with Jonas and Michael and later Colin at Sheryl’s family’s house and we all drove in a very full car) back to Geraldine on Sunday, thus concluding break!

Easter Break, Week 1

To avoid going into great detail about my first week of break, I will simply share with you the highlights of the trip. As I may have said previously, Cara, JB, Bryan, Adam, and I borrowed White Betty, a car belonging to a couple from the church for our first week of touring. After a day of intense cleaning and tearful goodbyes on Thursday, we left for Mount Cook. I have dicided that I love driving at night through the mountains because it makes them look so much more majestic as you weave around tight corners with their dark shape looming over you and the stars overhead.

We had a guitar at our first hostel so we had a spontaneous worship session under the stars. It was really neat to see how God answered our prayers to give us opportunities to witness because as we were worshiping, a guy came out and started asking Bryan questions about God and stuff because he recognised some of the songs. We also met up with Michael and Jonas at our hostel and stuck with them till Monday in Te Anau.

While in the Mount Cook region, we visited the Franz Joseph glacier and had a quiet time somewhere between Mount Cook and Lake Tikapo.

On Friday night, we camped in tents on the side of the road (with JB and Michael sleeping in the cars) since all the hostels in Wanaka were full (because of an air show that was happening while we were there).

In Wanaka, we went to Puzzling World where we saw tons of awesome illusions and tried to make our way through a maze.

On Easter Sunday in Queenstown, we attended St. Andrews church in the morning and a ‘youth’ church in the evening. And in between, we did the luge (kind of like go-karts without a motor on a hill). And I almost forgot to mention, we all went out for lunch at Fergburger where they make the hugest burgers I have ever seen! And each burger was definitely worth the 10 to 15$ that we paid for them!

On Monday, we were in Te Anau (where we split up with Jonas and Michael). We drove from there to Milford Sound (2 hours), stopping occasionally on the way to take pictures of the beautiful scenery. Milford Sound is actually a Fiord (somebody woopsed in naming it...). It was absolutely beautiful! We took a cruise through the fiord and on the way out to the ocean the mountains were covered in clouds making them seem huge and majestic. On the way back in, the sun came out and shone beautifully on the numerous waterfalls creating rainbows for us to enjoy. In the evening, we (we being Cara and I) took a cruise across the Te Anau lake to see the glow worm caves. They are quite fascinating creatures and it was like staring at a sky filled with stars only each of the stars was within out reach.

While in Dunedin, we took a tour of the Cadbury’s chocolate factory where we were given tons of ‘free’ samples.

On our drive from Dunedin to Christchurch, we stopped by the beach to see the Moeraki Boulders. What an awesome creator we have! (I would highly encourage you to google pictures of these boulders.)

On Thursday, we had nothing else to do so we drove to Hamner Springs for some relaxation in their ‘natural’ hot springs.

On Saturday, I met up with Penny, my co-counselor from Te Mapua (Cara, Adam, JB, and Bryan flew up to the North Island on Friday where they met up with most of the other Capers and spent the week at a beach house in the Cormandel). Penny and I chatted, explored Christchurch, went kayaking along the river that runs through the botanical gardens, and went to an improve show.

I really enjoyed the first week of break. God taught me a lot about myself through interactions with the people I was traveling with. I was blessed to be the first one to wake up every morning (by like 2 hours) so I got to have some really good JAM time every morning (that’s the Te Mapua way of waying Jesus and me time :P)

Week 24

This week has been rather hectic as we’ve all been packing and preparing to leave for Easter break. Ben, Amber, Cara, and Jordan will not be retuning after break as they will be going to ABS (Adventure Bible School) up on the North Island.

On Tuesday, we had our secret sister revealing party. Hanna was my secret sister and I had Kelsey. We chatted, laughed, exchanged gifts, ate a chocolate fondue (minus the chocolate because none of us actually wanted the extra sugar), and watched Julie & Julia.

On Wednesday evening, after an afternoon of intense cleaning, we had a formal diner where Patti taught us formal etiquette. We had way too many forks and knives, three courses, and three glasses for ‘wine.’ For the first course, we had the option of Greek salad or ???. The main was chicken au vin or steak cooked and served beautifully. For desert there was Panna Cotta or Tiramasu. Dale showed us how a proper toast is done. The guys were wonderful and escorted the girls down and seated us and stood whenever any of us stood. It was tons of fun! And the staff were amazing because they prepared the meal, served us, and even did the dishes afterwards so that we could all hang out!

In the evening, we had out ‘un-talent show’ and it was quite the success! We had several musical number including Justus on the drums accompanied by Michael on the piano (Justus is doing incredibly well on the drums!) and several original compositions. Us girls put on a snow white skit that had everyone laughing uproariously. I recited some poetry. And the crowning achievement of the evening was the guys doing the Haka. They did it out on the lawn so they were just illuminated by the lights on the porch and they were all dressed in black. It was quite intimidating!

Today, Thursday, after a final room check and our Thursday ministry (Bible in Schools), we will be heading out for our two week Easter break. I’ll be traveling with Cara, Bryan, and JB down towards Queenstown, Wanaka, Dunedin, Milford Sound, and Teanau. For the second week of break, most of the students are heading up to the North Island where they have rented a beach house. I’ll be staying in Christchurch to volunteer at the Easter Te Mapua camp (the same camp my team went to for the first ministry week in the first semester). I would really appreciate your prayers over the week of camp!

This morning (April 1st) we were woken up to the sound of the fire alarm at 6:30. It took me until we were all leaving the building to realize that it was a drill and it took me until we were all coming back in to figure out that it may have been an April fool’s joke! Oh well! At least I now know that my reaction time was good!

I will attempt to blog over break, but I may not have access to computers so for now, au revoir until the 18th of April!

Week 23

This week was slightly insane. I probably didn’t make it better by spending most of last weekend working on putting together a recipe book of all our favourite recipes at the Crossing. This week, Gordon, the pastor from the Life Church in Timaru, taught us on the book of Nehemiah. What an awesome book! And it’s been so encouraging to hear that he teaches the truth and therefore that the attendees of the youth group I go to on Wednesdays are hearing solid truths every Sunday!

On Monday and Tuesday, we prepped and practiced for a service we put on Thursday evening to get the word out about what Capernwray is. Cyril had booked Stonebridge (a beautiful hall and property just outside of Geraldine) for the Thursday night and then came to Dale saying “I’ve booked the hall and now I’d like you to put on a service.” We had music, a short message, and some testimonies (I gave my testimony), four guys sang in beautiful harmony (the ‘Capernwray quartet), and we did a skit. Cyril tells us he prayed over every chair before the service asking God for a bottom on every chair. We had to go get more chairs from storage! I pray that I will have simple faith like Cyril’s!!

On Wednesday, we (Ben, Adam, and I, that is) went to our last youth group meeting before Easter break and since we weren’t sure if we’d be coming back and since Ben is leaving for ABS, they had a big ‘goodbye party’ for us. We played games and they made cards for us. Some of the students even bought us gifts! And I got to share with them how encouraged I have been this week after being taught by their pastor and tell them a bit about the awesome truths God has been teaching me from the book of Nehemiah.

Thursday afternoon was spent running through the Stonebridge service and exploring the Beautiful Stonebridge property. The feedback from the service was really encouraging and people were really generous in the love offering they gave to support our mission’s trip to Fiji. After the service, Gordon told me that he can see me in a teaching role in the future. The interesting thing is that he’s the second one to tell me that this week! It’s definitely something I will have to take to God in prayer! After the service, a bunch of us stayed up really late chatting and laughing. It’s been really neat to see the awesome fellowship we have. It seems that God has given us the unity and community we felt we were lacking just a few weeks ago. It will be sad to see Amber, Ben, Cara, and Jordan leave after Easter break for ABS up at Monavale on the North Island.

On Friday evening, a bunch of us watched ‘The Passion of the Christ’ on the big projector in the student lounge.

For supper on Saturday, Cam, Rob, and I cooked tea. We made cheese blintz and applesauce for the main course and Welch cakes for pudding. It was a wonderfully delicious piece of home!

Saturday night, a bunch of us decided to pull an all-nighter. We started off the evening with an activity organized by Patti: ballroom dancing lessons. A lady from the church came in and taught us a bit of waltz, some samba, and some cha-cha-cha. It was sooooo much fun! Sheryl, Michael, and I are planning on attending her courses on Friday evenings in Geraldine. Later in the evening, we played a few rounds of body-body before heading out on a scavenger hunt that JB so generously put together for us. Unfortunately, this activity was cut short by some drunk people at the skate park who dumped a beer on the seat of Sheryl’s car and took our list of clues. (We managed to leave peacefully without a fight though.) I decided to go to bed at 3am which meant that I missed the “silent” capern-rave and toilet-papering the Epp’s car (they took it well). We had a blast just chilling and hanging out.

Journal for week 21

Sorry about all the journals being out of order! I seem to have forgotten to post some...

- Honesty with God bring intimacy with God, therefore, I need to be completely honest with God in my prayer life. It is dumb when I try to conceal the truth because He is God! He already knows what I am going to think and why and nothing I ever do will surprise Him.

- I also need to remember to be reverent as I come into God’s presence. Too often, I rush into prayer without pausing to recall that I am coming into the presence of the almighty God through the blood of Christ.

- If God was small enough to understand, He wouldn’t be big enough to worship!

- My worship of God needs to be active, not passive!

Journal for week 23

- The main thing I have gotten from Nehemiah is the importance of committing everything to prayer and the fact that if God calls me to do something and it succeeds, it has nothing to do with my ability to communicate, my speech skills, or my intellect, but everything to do with God’s hand upon me.

- Vision begins to develop when I know whose I am (God’s), when what concerns God begins to concern me, and when I face the truth about what is happening around me. And it is this vision that will drive me to petition God and will be my motivation to press on.

- How big I perceive God to be will determine how big I determine my problems to be. Realizing how awesome God is will put everything into perspective!

- Just like Nehemiah, I need to realize that my ministry is not my ministry and that I cannot do it on my own strength and therefore need to continuously come to the Lord in prayer.

- Just like Nehemiah, I need to fully trust God but also be fully dedicated to the task He has called me to.

- I need to be faithful where God has placed me by starting by doing what is there to be done.

- Like Nehemiah, I want God to teach me to always bring everything to Him in prayer.

- When I am doing what God has called me to do, opposition will come, so I need to have a deep conviction of where God has called me and then I need to defend myself by always remembering to turn to God, by allowing God to strengthen my ‘exposed places’ and by being vigilant.

- No vision can be accomplished by an individual, which is why God calls us to work as a team as part of the body of Christ.

- The more I try to deal with my fleshly/sinful appetites, the more they will have a hold of me. I therefore need to live by the spirit and stop working in the strength of the flesh.

- What I have gained spiritually this year must be maintained: I need to guard myself against attacks by the enemy by focussing on God and living in the spirit, by worshiping God, and by making sure I have strong spiritual leaders in my life.

- The three indispensable qualities required of a Christian leader are integrity, fear of God, and a submissive spirit.

- I am not responsible for the outcome of the spiritual harvest (I cannot make seeds grow), but I am responsible for planting seeds.

- “The joy of the Lord is my strength” can also be translated “Delight in Jehovah is a strong refuge.” Way cool!!!

- In my walk with Christ, it is important to keep the joy alive (mourning brings repentance, but continued mourning is only self-centered), to remember what God has done in my life, and to maintain fellowship with other believers.

God
- My priorities shouldn’t be 1. God, 2. Family, 3. Church, 4. Me... but

Journal for week 22

- I learnt from 1 and 2 Kings that, even though Israel had strayed ‘further’ from God than Judah, God sent His most powerful prophet to Israel. This shows that God is always willing to provide a way back to Him, no matter how far I have strayed. And He loves His people so much that He is willing to send His best to our worst.

- It would have been humanly impossible for the prophets to go through what they did without God as their strength. God also provided rest, He proved that H was in compete control of every situation, and He directed and provided in every situation.

- If I say “God, I’ve let you down,” that implies that I actually had something to give God in the first place. Instead, I need to rely on God as my sufficiency.

- The account of Elisha shows that God is interested in the small things in my day to day life.

- I have to be wiling to bring God the little I’ve got and trust Him to work with and multiply that (like in the account of the widow who took care of Elisha).

- I want to be like Elisha who was still preaching on His deathbed: I want my life to be 100% submitted to God.

- God tests me to reveal what is in my heart, to convict and to bring me to repentance.

- It makes sense to try to do things on my own until they begin to fall apart and I are forced to rely on God. But God wants me to rely on Him for everything.

- It is brokenness that brings the power of God in my live.

- True faith is believing that God is who He says He is. If I just have ‘faith’ that all things are going to go well, it is not true faith.

- My horizontal fellowship with others should be completely linked with my vertical fellowship with God. This fellowship with God is living and joyful.

- To have fellowship with God, I need to walk in the light because a compromising Christian is one of Satan’s most powerful weapons. I also need to confess my sin because the purpose of coming into the light is to reveal sin. There can therefore be no secrets. The love of God should motivate my obedience.

- The characteristics of fellowship are righteous and pure living, consistent victory over sin, assurance of salvation, discernment, and love of others as Christ loved.

- I am not to ask the Lord to walk with me but instead ask that I may walk with Him!

- I need to love God and enjoy the world, not love the world and enjoy God.

- I need to come to God recognizing that I have nothing to offer and thirsty fot His living water just like the woman at the well.

- The consequences of fellowship with God are burdenless obedience (motivated by love!), victory over the world (because God is in control, not me!), assurance of salvation (because my salvation is based on Christ’s work on the cross, not my own effort!), confidence in prayer (yay!!), and the strength to persevere.

Week 22

Two more weeks till Easter break! Please pray that plans will come together! So far, I am looking forward to touring for a week with Bryan, Cara, and JB before spending a week volunteering at the Easter Te Mapua camp in Christchurch. We have to be out of the house on Thursday afternoon (April 1st) and we are allowed back Sunday afternoon, two weeks later.

This week, it really hit me how little time we have left in this beautiful country. It made me realize that I really need to be faithful with what God has given me here and now. It’s been really neat to see the relationship here evolve over the last semester. We are all becoming more real with each other. This means that conflicts are arising, but it also means that friendships are growing deeper.

Highlights from this week include a youth service in Geraldine, a rugby game in Christchurch and star gazing.

This week saw most of us scrambling to get our final Bible study of the semester finished. We got to study the passage in John 4 about Jesus healing the nobleman’s son. Since our afternoons were filled with ministry prep and practices for the youth service, this meant several late nights.

On Tuesday for family night, my group went to Dale and Patti’s for supper and and evening of games. Patti fed us scrumptiously, as usual, with pasta, bacon-wrapped chicken, barbequed corn and carrots, and two delicious salads. For desert, she made us white chocolate panacota with raspberries. Mmmmmm...

On Wednesday evening, I got to share my testimony at the youth group in Timaru.

Friday evening, half of the Capers put on a youth service in Geraldine for teens from all around the area. Michael gave a really good talk on apathy, Cara shared her testimony, and Adam, Cam, and Joel shared a bit about what they have been learning this year at The Crossing. I preformed in one of the skits. All of us here at the crossing would greatly appreciate your prayers for the youth in Geraldine. Some of the regular youth group attendees are starting to get excited about their faith and are wanting to take it to a deeper level while others don’t even know the difference between the old and the new testaments. It’s really exciting to hear how the God has been using the Capernwray students through the youth group and to see the youth group start to come alive.

After getting home from the service, a couple of us headed out for a walk. The stars were beautiful so we lay in the middle of the road (only in New Zealand!) for at least half an hour watching the sky and seeing the occasional shooting star and marvelling at God’s awesome creation.

On Saturday, we packed up the van and the flower power car and headed into Christchurch for a Crusaders (rugby) game. They were played the South African Lions and, of course, the Crusaders won! We all painted our faces red a black and waved flags and swords to cheer on the home team.

Week 21

Week 21! Wow! This semester has been flying by! That means only three weeks till Easter break. We’ve begin making plans, applying for camps and booking flights. Highlights from this past week were the guy/girl weekend, an awesome game of ‘body body’, a long, wet, beautiful walk in the rain, French lessons, and lots of warm fires.

For the guy/girl weekend, us girls headed out to a camp just outside of Christchurch in a bay similar to Akaraoa. Debbie Bryson from San Diego was our speaker with lectures on ‘Moments with the Master.’ We enjoyed some encouraging and challenging lectures, ate some delicious food, swam in the pool, and went for some beautiful hikes. Our cabin was at the top of a really steep hill so it was really nice to be able to get some exercise climbing the hill several times a day. We also took the opportunity to make a day trip to Christchurch for some shopping since prices are way better there than here in Geraldine.

Apparently, every single one of the guys plans for the weekend fell through. They had been hoping to go possum hunting and boating, but both cancelled at the last minute.

When we got back on Sunday evening, we all played a few rounds of ‘body body’. Basically, all the lights get turned off (and we play relatively late at night) and one person is the murderer (we chose by picking cards from a deck). If you get touched on the head by the murderer, you have to simply drop, limp, to the ground without making a noise. The murderer then has the option of dragging you to another location or hiding your body. The game continues until someone finds a body and yells “Body, body!” at which point the lights are turned on and everyone meets around the body. A vote is taken as to who the murderer is (after much debate and logic). The person chosen is eliminated. If the person chosen is the murderer, the game is over, otherwise, the game continues and the person chosen must sit out while the murderer is still on the loose. The game continues until the murderer (or murderers, depending on how many you choose to have) is eliminated or manages to kill everyone. We played until at least midnight.

On Wednesday morning, I got the opportunity to teach French to a bunch of 5 to 8 year old homeschooled kids from the area. We learned about farm animals and memorized John 10:11. I get to teach French to them twice more before Easter break.

On Thursday, the rain came, and with it came the cold. I enjoyed a wonderful long walk in the pouring rain (and discovered that my raincoat is not completely waterproof) followed by a nice warm mug of Milo (NZ’s almost equivalent to hot chocolate). It was exactly what I needed to lift my spirits.

The cold weather has continued and we have built several fires. The formal lounge has therefore once again become the favourite hang out place as we congregate around the fireplace to attempt o restore warmth to our fingers and toes. This has given me the opportunity to perfect my new favourite snack: apples over the fire. They are quite simple and quite delicious. You will need: one apple cut into 8ths, one warm fire, and a utensil with which to roast the apple. Peanut butter and graham crackers are an optional treat to accompany your roasted apples. Simply roast the apple wedges over red coals (you definitely want coals because if there are still large flames, your apple will taste like smoke) until the edges start to go slightly black. The end result is a wonderful treat that tastes like apple pie without the crust! You may also want to try it with a graham cracker topped with crunchy peanut butter or even dipped in cinnamon.

On Thursday, we had been warned by the electrical company that they would be turning off the power from 9am to 4pm, so in the morning, we filled countless jugs and buckets of water and set the table with paper plates and plastic forks.

On Saturday, we got together with the Geraldine youth group for a game of soccer, which my team won! (Although I was off the field for the last minutes of the game.)

Although I had meant to blog and work on my Bible study on Sunday afternoon, I fell asleep after lunch and slept till supper. And yet I still managed to fall asleep at a reasonable hour and slept in this morning! On Sunday evening, Amber, Cam, Adam, Hanna, and I drove into Timaru for Isabelle’s ballet recital. They kids were quite good and the younger ones were really cute! They were almost synchronized.

Journal for Week 20

- If we – the church – believed what we said with our mouths we believed, it would revolutionize the world. The gospel of Christ is not just knowledge, but doing something about it.

- To those much has been given, much will be required. Much has been given to me, what am I going to do with it?

- I need to ask God to break my heart with what breaks His. I should live simply so that I can support missionaries who are changing the world, one life at a time. I should spend time in prayer and fasting on a regular basis for the people around the world who have not heard the message of the gospel.

- I cannot rely on my own knowledge. Instead, I need to rely on God’s wisdom and He will give me only as much as I need for the situations He places me in.

Oups!

I realized (in retranscribing it) that I made a rather crucial error in one of my journal entries. It should read:
- No matter what authority I am under, I am to submit to it for the Lord’s sake. This is the key to a right attitude. I should never demand justice for myself but I should never stop being just to others.

Week 20

This week was our missions focus week so we had different speakers come in from different missions and tell us about what they are doing. We’ve also each had to prepare a five minute presentation on a country and have been presenting it to the class after meals. I did my project on Senegal.

In order to get a taste of what people eat around the world, Sheryl has been making special meals for us. On Monday lunch, we all sat around a picnic blanket on the floor and had a bowl of white rice which we ate with our fingers. On Tuesday, we got upgraded to chopsticks and we even had soy sauce to put on the rice.

Tuesday night was our family night. For the first time this semester, we did a small event, just in our family groups. We played spoons and a game where you had to bend over with only your feet on the ground to pick up a Tim Tam (a small chocolate candy that is only about three centimetres off the ground when it is lying on its side) with your mouth.

On Thursday, we had our quiet day. I was feeling pretty rotten and tired, but that meant that I had to sit down and just focus on God. He gave me some good reminders. Last semester, Joseph was teaching on one of the letters to the churches (in Revelations) and he encouraged us to write ourselves a letter like that, so I did that on quiet day. Here is my letter:
These are the words of the creator of the heaves and the earth, of whom all creation sings praises day after day. I know your deeds, that you strive for justice and obedience. Yet this I have against you, that you are lazy and do not seek Me with all your heart, soul, and mind. I see your desire to live a holy and blameless life, but you put your hope and seek strength in yourself and the fading things of this world. You want to do big things, but I tell you this: you must first be faithful with the things I have already entrusted to you. For to him who is faithful with little, much will be given. But to him who is not faithful, even what he has will be stripped away. He who has ear, let him hear.

Today (Friday) we all leave for guy/girl weekend. The guys are heading down a little past Queenstown (a 7 hour drive!) and us girls are going to a women’s conference just outside of Christchurch that a lady wanted to pay to send us all to (to say thank you to Patti for some conferences she has organized in the past).

Week 19

This week, most of the Capers have been coping with colds from which we have coined a new term: Post Ministry Week Syndrome. Peter Thomas (the son of Major Ian Thomas, the founder of the first Capernwray) taught us this week on 1 Peter and we had a DVD lecture by Charlie Mcaul on the Life of Solomon. God used both speakers to teach me heaps!

On Friday night, we had a Plegm Philm Phestival where we were split into four teams and given two hours to film and edit a movie. We were given a genre (foreign film, romantic comedy, thriller and sci-fi were the ones that got picked out of the hat), a prop (a laundry basket, a coffee press, a ‘caution wet floor’ sign, and a shovel), and a line that had to be used at some point in the movie. My team (Jordan, Hanna, Kelsey, and I) got foreign film, which was perfect since I speak French, Hanna speaks German and Jordan does a brilliant Asian accent. Since foreign films are often very difficult to follow, we had very little plot but instead incorporated lots of humour. When we cam together at the end to see each other’s films, I was blown away by the quality of the acting, the filming, the plots, and the editing. The thriller actually gave me shivers and the sci-fi one was really sweet. Amber made a beautiful trophy filled with a green cornstarch and water mixture for the winners (the thriller).

On Saturday I competed in the South Island Open, a tennis tournament organized by JB for the Capers. We were split into teams based on our experience and skill, so stronger tennis players were matched with beginners. I spent a few hours on the court this week practicing with JB (my teammate). And it paid off: we won the tournament! The tournament started at 9am and finished at 5pm. It was really fun! Amber made the trophy for the winners out of ice cream (so I couldn’t eat it since I have given up all deserts for lent).

PT (Peter Thomas) shared a story about a guy he knows in class this week that really challenged me so I thought I’d share it. This Christian guy had been praying that his colleagues at work would be saved for several years when one day, one of his colleagues came to the office super excited telling everyone that he had become a Christian. The guy who had been praying was overjoyed and went over to give his new brother in Christ a hug. He said to him “I’ve been praying for you and everyone here for years that you would be saved!” At this, the new believer said, shocked, “You’re a Christian?” The guys answered “Yes, couldn’t you tell by the way I acted?” To this he replied “You’re the reason it took me so long to become a Christian. I saw how good you were and I figured that if you could be that good without God, why would I need God?”

That really hit me and challenged me, not only to live my faith boldly, but to speak of my faith boldly. Romans 10:13-15 reads “for, ‘Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’ How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? 15And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, ‘How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!’”

Journal Week 19

- In God’s economy, an asset is something that causes me to come to Him. What the world calls an asset, God calls a liability and what God calls an asset, the world calls a liability.

- My success in life is dependant upon my relationship with God, nothing else.

- When I come into situations where I know I am inadequate, I have two options: to run or to turn it over to God.

- When I ask for wisdom, God won’t make me feel wise, but He will give me wisdom, I simply have to trust Him.

- I need to live out my faith, but I also need to tell others by what power I am living just like people didn’t turn to God by seeing Solomon’s wealth but by Solomon’s testimony of what made the difference in his life.

- Solomon didn’t fall away from God because he didn’t know better but because his heart was in the wrong place. I need to ask myself what is captivating my heart and give it all over to God otherwise He will never be first in my life.

- It is never my knowledge that will protect me from sin but Christ in me.

- The way I live will affect generations to come.

- Peter was an apostle, meaning messenger. In other words, it was not about who he was, but who sent him.

- I am an alien in this world, in other words, this world is not going to protect me.

- “Grace is the God initiated and humanly underserved divine provision that removes our falleness and imparts Jesus’ righteousness.”

- Shalom (peace) is not the absence of something (warfare or tension) but the presence of someone: God!!!

- Belief that doesn’t behave is not belief.

- A sign of maturity is an appetite for God and His word.

- The ultimate purpose of my life is to reveal God. This should be evident in all I say and do.

- No matter what authority I am under, I am to submit to it for the Lord’s sake. This is the key to a right attitude. I should demand justice for myself but I should never stop being just to others.

- I am called, as a woman, to be submissive to my husband in the future because the goal of marriage is not ultimately happiness or fulfillment but bringing glory to God.

- Beautiful women in the Bible (like Sarah) were not beautiful because of outward adornment but because they put their hope in God.

- I need to have an answer for the hope inside me for anyone who asks but I need to but it’s not worth winning an argument to lose the war so my heart and attitude need to be right.

- I need to beware of prayer becoming ordinary because it is a dynamic interaction with the Living God, not just a passing acknowledgment.

- Our responsibility is to lift up God. I need to be careful not to disguise Him to make Him seem more appealing to the world.

- I may be robbing myself of rich Christian experience and growth if I put my personal safety as my highest priority. Instead, I should rejoice in suffering (1Peter 4:13)

- I am to clothe myself with humility. This requires a continuous effort but will have eternal consequences.

Ministry Week!

This past week, Amber, Cam, Hanna, Michael, Ben, Bryan, JB, Joseph, and I all headed down to Christchurch for our ministry week. Having written at least five letters/postcards since then describing the events of the week, I will keep this description short.

We arrived on Sunday evening in time for the youth service at the church that was hosting us. The worship was great and it wad really neat to meet the youth, but none of us really appreciated the speaker. We had our doubts when, at the BBQ preceding the service, all the youth were talking about how the speaker was really awesome and how she was a prophetess. Hmmm, first a woman speaker, then one who claims to have the position of prophet, not a good start. She seemed to start on the right path, talking about David and goliath and how David excelled at what he did (watching sheep and that meant that he could also excel at what was to come (fighting Goliath and being king). Unfortunately, she missed the most important part: Christ! I would have to say though, she would make an excellent secular motivational speaker!

One Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday mornings, we helped out at 0-800-HUNGRY, making and delivering food parcels. On Thursday morning, we helped out at Voice of the Martyrs stuffing envelopes for their monthly newsletter. And on Friday morning (after sleeping in J), we headed out to the city center with some surveys to do some street evangelism.

In the afternoons, we visited people of different faiths to find out what they believed and why. We visited a Unitarian Universalist (What’s true to you is true to you so long as it makes you happy and doesn’t hurt anyone), some Mormons (otherwise known as Church of the Later Day Saints), a Thai Buddhist temple (their goal is to reach a state of not desiring anything but simply acknowledging every thought and sense, and a Baha’i couple. We were able to come to a better understanding of these faiths and have some pretty good conversations! I’d love it if you could pray for the people that we met that God would work in their lives so that they would see the truth and so that they would ask questions as a result of our visit. It was sad to see how most of them had no hope; their “admission to heaven” was (for the most part) based on good works and depending on God’s mercy and boundless love for all people. Meeting them, however, really made me grateful to know that we have the truth.

On Tuesday and Wednesday evenings, we went to a drop-in center in one of the tougher parts of town and hung out with gang members, playing ping-pong, foosball, pool, x-box, jamming, and just hanging out with them. It was Really fun!! And it was really neat to see the ministry that Richard (the guy who started it) has in working with these kids and young adults. He not only runs the drop-in center as a safe haven in the evenings, he also has some of the older guys doing construction, fixing up cars, and cultivating ferns to get them working and earning money legally and he does Bible studies during the week.

On Thursday night, we went to a men’s soup kitchen. We made them a soup (out of chicken in a broth and any cans they had in the cupboard), sang a few songs for them, and mostly just hung out and chatted with them. Some of the guys even player chess and checkers. Some of the men there were pretty cool and they were all happy to see us.

It was really neat to be able to do practical work to show Christ’s love. And it was really neat to see how united we are through Christ.

On Saturday, I went cliff jumping with a bunch of people. The drive there was almost more exciting that the jump itself since the flower power car kept bottoming out in all the puddles along the dirt road. The pool where we jumped was beautiful with the waterfall falling about ten meters into a pool surrounded by huge cliffs. A bunch of the guys even jumped off the highest cliff which they estimated at about 50 feet (in meters, that really high!).

On Sunday evening, us girls got to go to Patti’s to continue our series on “Holy Women of God.” I am being challenged in my assumptions of the role of women in the church and in society. It’s really cool!

Week 17

This week, Ian (the pastor at the local church) taught on 1 Thessalonians. We also had a DVD lecture by Russell Kelfer on the importance of memorizing scripture. Was I ever convicted! We also had several ‘random’ classes, like some by Dale on the results of Christ’s finished work on the cross and a DVD by John McArthur on Jesus as Lord.

We are all getting excited for ministry week next week. I’m in the group going to Christchurch. We get to help out at a local food bank, meet and talk with people of different faiths and do other acts of service.

Most of us spent the week working on finishing up our latest Bible studies. When it gets monotonous, I thank God that we live in a country where we can study His word freely and without fear. I also prepared and presented a devotion on our bodies as God’s temple to the Timaru youth group (which I attend every Wednesday with Ben and Adam as our ministry). Hanna says that if I had been graded on this devotion, I would have gotten the grade I had wanted on the Bible study that I presented at the Crossing last week (I got a B and I was hoping for an A). I also did something pretty exciting on Wednesday afternoon: I applied for Universite de Sherbrooke!!!!

For workday I got to work outside picking up rocks in the freshly tilled dirt so that it will be ready for seeding. I really enjoyed it because it was difficult enough that I was actually getting some exercise.

One other exciting thing we did this week was prepare for our surprise Valentine’s Day supper for the guys. We had tons of “secret” meetings (we call them our nothing meetings and the guys seem to think that we just hang around and talk). Little did we know that the guys were also preparing something for us! On Thursday, we received formal invitations to supper and desert on Friday accompanied by entertainment and we were told to dress formal.

So Friday at 6pm, all us girls came down the stairs (after at least two hours of curling hair, doing nails and makeup and picking out dresses and shoes) to the dining room which had been closed off for the afternoon. We were greeted at the door by Adam, Joel, and Jonas, all dressed quite handsomely escorted us each individually to our place at the table. There were candles and flower arraignments on the table and a rose on each of our plates. Then the boys came out with a beautiful salad and offered us sparkling juice. They even got out the good dishes! We then got a sorbet to clear our palates before the main course of chicken wrapped in bacon, spinach with cucumber, and couscous moulded in a heart shape with a delicious sauce in the middle and two chives placed elegantly on top. The whole thing was presented Beautifully!! The boys had eaten before so that it could be just us girls and so that they could serve us. We chatted and laughed as we were serenaded by Michael and Bryan on the piano. While we enjoyed a delicious desert of chocolate pudding topped with whipped cream, we were entertained by JB and Robert who each wrote a “love” song to all us girls. Joseph and Colin (AKA Hot Play) then played us a song followed by a beautiful solo by Joseph. Joseph finished off the evening by telling us that he had hoped to plan a dance but that he had been unable to and so promised to organize it for a future date. A few of us were in tears and we were all completely blown away by how awesome these guys are!

The evening was finished perfectly when all the students received valentine’s letters from God (made by someone who wished to remain anonymous). Each one was hand made with a personal message inside. And each message was sooooooooo accurate as to what each of us had to hear it was almost creepy but in a wonderful sort of way. Apparently, the person who made them doesn’t know us but simply asked for a list of our names. There was obviously a tremendous amount of prayer and time put into each card. They were so personalized that some people didn’t want to share what was written inside them because they touched some issues that are so real to each of us right now. I’m having trouble describing just how awesome it was, but hopefully you are getting the picture! I plan on framing the card because it is definitely a keeper!

We then all stayed up till past midnight chatting, reading each other’s cards, worshiping God, and just hanging out.

On Saturday, the girls met in the kitchen at 2 to start prepping the herbed potatoes, steak, nachos, ‘Patti’s Awesome Sauce,’ and chocolate and caramel sauce for desert. We had a couple of close calls when Joseph walked into the kitchen and all the girls were in there working. But he bought the line that we were having some ‘quality girl time.’ Another time, Joel came in to get something out of the cupboard and saw the candy (which was for the sundaes) and decided to try one. We rang the bell as if it was a normal supper and everyone sat down. Amber came out of the kitchen and informed us that they would be running slightly late. And every single guy was totally surprised when, instead of walking out of the kitchen with supper, the girls walked out of the kitchen with blindfolds and proceeded to blindfold each of the guys. We led them out to the van (and threatened extra duties if they took off the blindfolds) and Hanna drove them around Geraldine for twenty minutes while we rushed to set up the formal lounge. We decided not to decorate too much because we figured that wouldn’t be something the guys would appreciate. When they got back, we led the guys to their spots at the table. We only had one accident: JB (who is the tallest student) whacked his head pretty on the door frame.

We gave them an appetizer of nachos. I had asked them, under the guise that I was doing character sketches for my blog, what their favourite soft drink was so we brought them each their favourites. For the main course, they had steak (thanks Amber for managing the BBQ!) and Patti’s awesome sauce (which they absolutely adore!). And for desert, we made them ice cream sundaes with tons of toppings and a choice of either caramel or chocolate sauce. And after their desert, we read them a short poem we had written for them (which I will post at a later date). We spent the evening in the kitchen (and had a delicious salad and their left over’s for supper) so that they could have some guy time. And we thoroughly enjoyed hearing tons of laughter and lots of talking.

I’m not sure, but I think the girls were almost more excited about the whole thing than the guys. But I must say, the guys were really grateful and really appreciated it too.

I think I will have to say that this has been just about my best Valentine’s day/weekend ever!

Tomorrow (Sunday) we leave for ministry week! I’m off to Christchurch to do some street ministry, some visiting of other faiths, some work at a local food bank, and a few other activities. There is another group heading down to Dunedin.