As We Leave the Crossing...

Here's the poem I wrote for grad (called "As We Leave the Crossing...")

Maybe it’s time for a redefinition
Time for a difference, a change of position
We’ve been placed here, brought here, given a mission
For such a time as this

We’ve been taught, we’ve been trained, and now it’s time to go
I don’t want to leave but somehow I know
God has placed us here for just a short time
To tell us over and over “Beloved, you are mine.

“Don’t depend on the future; don’t dwell on the past,
I’ll be your strength to do whatever I ask
Be diligent today with what’s I’ve placed before you
Trust that I’m faithful to call and to do”


Facing the world now seems a daunting task
Dealing with old burdens, is it too much to ask?
But stand firm in His Word and in Him delight
Meditate on His precepts all day and all night.

Allow Him to reveal what’s in your heart of hearts
And trust that He’s good as He cleans your inner parts
Moment by moment, choose what He tells you is best
Give it all up to Him, He’ll take care of the rest!

Remember that God is unchanging, eternal
He loves us the same, He will always be faithful
He’s demands all the glory, He’s the lion and the lamb
He’s our ruler, our king, the perfect I AM

Maybe it’s time for a redefinition
Time for a difference, a change of position
God has placed us here, brought us here,
Now He sends us on a mission
For such a time as this

Happy Birthday to Me!

For my birthday on Wednesday, Sheryl made me apple pie! Not only that, but she saved a piece for me so that I could have a piece reheated for breakfast on Thursday. Joel and Michael did a rap for me for which the lyrics follow:
Angela Tracy
Quebec is where you’re from
4x-2bπr2/501πxz is the equation
Only you really know what it is
Science is the shiz nits

Door knobs are such a great invention
Angela, you’ll probably invent the toaster

The Bible is the Word
My jacket is blue with stripes
It’s been raining for three days
Because New Zealand doesn’t want you to go
Firewood is great for fire
Trees are great for growing
Just like how you are great for us
Don’t worry
Apples, rainbows, bananas
Some of those you eat
Like an alley cat
Angy-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Happy birthday!

Since it became known that, since I was really young, I wanted to get married when I was 20 years old, Gen tried to convince Joel (as a joke) to propose to me. They were bribing him with a chocolate covered coffee bean. I knew about the whole plan (Gen made sire I was ok with it :P), so don’t worry! Anyway, he didn’t end up doing it, but I thought it would be really funny! Other awesome things that happened on my birthday: my family called (thanks for calling even though I wasn’t there to answer!!!), people sang happy birthday to me in French, I got French birthday balloons, I had white bait for supper (the same kind I ate raw at the beginning of the year, only this time they were cooked), and we watched “how to find a spouse” by Charles Price (ironic? Lol!).

Week 29

This week, Lincoln Badger taught us on the book of acts and we had a DVD lecture on servant leadership by Satish John. It was an excellent way to finish off a year of classes. It has been tough over the past week realizing again and again how little time we have left.

On our last night at the Timaru youth group on Wednesday, the kids had a mini birthday party for Adam and I (Adam turned 20 on May 15th and I will turn 20 on the 26th). Bethany brought us sacks, fruit, and chocolate cheesecake.

On Friday night, Joseph got permission from Dale to show all three “Back From the Future” movies in a row. We started at 8:30pm (after Adam and Kelsey got back from Kids Alive) and finished the last one at 2am. They were super stressful but it was tons of fun! Needless to say, I was rather tired on Saturday. It didn’t help that I had to get up relatively early to clean up from breakfast.

On Sunday evening, we had our last Sunday night fellowship. All the Capers prepared and shared a testimony of what we have learned in class this year. After fellowship, we went to Patti’s for our Secret Sister revealing. We made sushi (under Gen’s instruction) then exchanged gifts.

Journal Week 29

- I need to let God be God in my life, then He can begin to transform me into someone useful for people and for God. I will be ineffective if I choose my own plans, my own missions, and what I am comfortable with.

- As a servant leader, I need to walk in fear of God and always have the Word of God on my lips. To serve God, I am to worship Him in every aspect of my life, to study His word, lay it on my heart, and meditate on it, and to be a witness to others of the hope that is within me.

- Saying “I have no time” is basically saying that I am still in control of my time, not God. It is saying that I am not available to God.

- One person on their knees is more powerful than a thousand pastors who don’t pray!

- Our goal shouldn’t be to bring the best men and women into the church to build the ministry, but to equip the best men and women to send them out into the world.

- Prayer should be my priority!

Week 28 (and a little bit of 29)

Last Thursday was our second to last family night, but instead of having an evening activity, we left right after lunch for Lake Tikapo (a 1 ½ hour drive away). We spent the afternoon skating on what I think is New Zealand’s only outdoor skating rink. We spent at least two hours on the ice and I got to learn how to turn properly. We then spent the evening at the Epps enjoying fish and chips and hanging out together by the warmth of their fireplace.

The project that was due last Friday was a written testimony of what we have learnt in class over the year. It was a really tough assignment and it took me quite a while to write up because of the sheer volume of stuff I have learned! I ended up putting it together in the form of a poem.

Werner talked on the book of James last week. It was quite appropriate that Werner, the teacher that always emphasises that most of scripture is descriptive (of what your life will look like with Christ in it) as opposed to prescriptive (telling you what to do). It was really neat though because God gave me a new understanding of what the book of James is really about. Here is a paragraph from my journal entry that describes what I learnt:
“Faith without deeds is dead” does not mean that if I have to earn my salvation but rather James is giving us a way to test if our faith is genuine. If I have deeds (motivated by a love for Christ), it shows that I have a genuine faith (John 14:12a). Other ways James gives to test the authenticity of faith is the tongue (what we say reveals what is in my heart. It is impossible for man to tame the tongue, therefore a tame tongue proves that the Spirit is in a person) and wisdom (Christ is our wisdom). But I am not to concentrate on having wisdom or taming my tongue, but on having Christ. Christ gives me the power to have works, a tame tongue, and wisdom, but I have to use it.

On Friday after lunch, the guys headed out to Akaroa and us girls headed up to Hamner Springs for our last guy/girl weekend. We had rented a little house (that looked just like the Flintstone’s house) just outside of town. It took us almost five hours (instead of three) to get there though because the car broke down (funny how the car broke down on our last girl weekend too!). On Saturday, we had nice relaxing morning, a late breakfast/early lunch, we did some shopping/browsing, and in the evening, we went to the hot springs. We spent most of the day just chatting. In fact, after shopping, we sat in a cafe chatting for about an hour before heading back to the house where we chatted for another hour over tea. After tea, we headed down to the hot springs where we relaxed and chatted for another hour and a half. In the evening, we watched “10 Things I Hate About You.” It’s funny how my perspective on movies has changed. I found it very difficult to enjoy the movie because it displayed very worldly relationships and very worldly ways of dealing with conflict and yet they made it seem as if it could all really work out in real life. On Sunday, we had our own little worship service where we shared about what God has been teaching us.

After tea on Sunday, since we had fellowship that night, we had our ‘quiet hour.’ I knew that I had some issues that I needed to give up to God so I spent the hour in prayer. When I came down for fellowship, I prayed that God would speak to me through the lecturer and I was absolutely convinced that God would speak to me and that it would be exactly what I needed to hear. And guess what? He did speak to me, and it was exactly what I needed to hear, and it was absolutely not what I expected! It was so cool! And then on Monday, God once again orchestrated events perfectly to deal with the issues that had been brought up during quiet hour. What a faithful God we serve!

I think I may have forgotten to mention, we have a new face at the Crossing. Gen (Genevieve), who was a student here at the same time as Hanna, has come back on staff to help Dale with paperwork, to organize missions trips, and to teach a missions class next year. Gen is from Singapore. She loves to wear bright colours that seem to fit her fun personality. Although she would describe herself as an introvert by nature, she tells me that God has been working in her life and teaching her to be more outgoing. She was a missionary in Niger for a few years before coming to Bible college so she has lots of experience that she will be able to impart to future students. She has already been a tremendous blessing to us girls simply by sharing the wisdom God has given her.

For this coming Friday, we will all be working on our final book study on “Be Ye Transformed” by Nancy Missler. It should be interesting as there are very mixed feelings about this book. On the one hand, it is the book that we have had the most fun laughing about and tearing apart. On the other hand, it is probably the book that has taught me the most practically (and there are other students who would agree with me).

Journal Week 28

- God has clothed me in a robe of righteousness. If I try to stitch my own robe (by obeying the law), it’s like a hospital gown. It looks perfect from where I can see, but when I turn around, it’s wide open.

- Trials show me where I am at and bring conviction. They don’t produce faith, they simply test whether my faith is genuine. Trials without faith lead to bitterness and resentment but trial with faith lead to spiritual maturity and dependence on God. I simply need to persevere (“remain upright”) under trials and allow Christ to be my sufficiency through them.

- “Faith without deeds is dead” does not mean that if I have to earn my salvation but rather James is giving us a way to test if our faith is genuine. If I have deeds (motivated by a love for Christ), it shows that I have a genuine faith (John 14:12a). Other ways James gives to test the authenticity of faith is the tongue (what we say reveals what is in my heart. It is impossible for man to tame the tongue, therefore a tame tongue proves that the Spirit is in a person) and wisdom (Christ is our wisdom). But I am not to concentrate on having wisdom or taming my tongue, but on having Christ. Christ gives me the power to have works, a tame tongue, and wisdom, but I have to use it.

- My responsibility is to exercise the spiritual gifts God has given me through the natural talents and abilities He has given me. I also need to not be ashamed of the people of God, of the name of Jesus (because He is what distinguishes our God from every other god), and the gospel of Christ (I need to be willing to ‘pull the trigger – present the gospel – whenever God gives me the opportunity).

- When self-thoughts or emotions come up, I need to immediately confess them to God, repent, and give them over to God. I then need to refill on God’s word.

Journal Week 27

- In 1 Corinthians, Paul emphasises that both marriage and celibacy are gifts. The most important thing is making the most of where I am now. As a single person, I can have ministries that a married person can’t have or I can serve in such a way as to bless married couples by taking jobs that would normally take away from their family time.

- As a single person... I need to work on being the right person (totally focused on God) than finding the right person to marry. I need to have a realistic and biblical perspective on marriage. I need to be wise concerning who I marry, desiring nothing less than God’s best. I also need to remember that marriage will become my first and most important ministry.

- Doctrine (established truths in the scripture) is extremely important. I need to make sure that any doctrine is fully supported by scripture.

- When God calls a person to ministry, it may feel as though at first they are backsliding. This is because God allows a period of testing and a period where He is preparing them for the ministry He has called them to. I therefore need to remember to serve God where I am, regardless of circumstance.

- In Paul’s description of deacons and elders in 1 Timothy, there is nothing about talent or giftedness but only with character.

- The best diet is the Word, the best exercise is righteousness! (1Timothy 4:8)

- If I am in ministry some day, I have to remember to feed on the word for myself.

- I need to flee from and get as far away as possible from any form of temptation. This includes the temptation that comes from money (1Timothy 6:6-10)

- True contentment is coming to the point where I need nothing else in addition to my relationship with Jesus in order to be satisfied and fulfilled. True contentment is independent of external circumstances. It is not freedom from the battle but peace in the midst of the battle. It has to do with perspective: whether I am looking at life through my eyes or through God’s eyes.To be content, I need to constantly build a relationship with Christ that is independent of external circumstances. And it is through the tougher circumstances that God will teach me to be content in Him. I need to learn from the past but not dwell on it. I need to make the most of today and not depend on tomorrow. And I need to surrender myself to God.

Week 27

Joseph decided to put up a swing in the yard this week. As he walked through the house with rope and swing in hand, Joel (H.) jumped up and offered to help. On the way to the back yard, they debated whether the sun or dogs were man’s best friend (Joel saying that it was the sun and Joseph debating the position of dogs). After laughing at their crazy antics for a while (Joseph trying to throw the rope over a very high branch and Joel just being his own wacky self), Michael ran to grab his camera before joining them by the tree. Soon, Kelsey joined the group by the tree and her laughter drifted over to where I sat watching. It wasn’t long before Rob came out of the house to observe that was going on and he too watched and was soon helping the group create makeshift belaying equipment to get Joseph up to the branch so that he could secure the rope. That’s when I went over to take pictures. And by the time the swing was finally in place, Adam and Kris (our teacher for the week) were also out there giving advice on the best way to make the swing even. And throughout it all, the ten doves that live in the tree watched from the roof or the house, a safe distance away. Such is life at the Crossing.

This week, Kris Baines taught us on a variety of topics including ‘Marriage, Divorce, and Singleness,’ 1 Timothy, ‘Keys to Contentment,’ ‘How to Biblically Evaluate a Movie and Have Fun Doing It,’ and ‘Eternal Death, Eternal Life.’ I think that the main thing I got out of lectures this week was the importance of being faithful and content where I am right now. I shouldn’t be living in anticipation of the future but rather using every opportunity God places in front of me today knowing that He is good. After all, by complaining, I’m basically saying that what He’s doing isn’t good enough.

Saturday evening, the Geraldine youth came over for an evening of soccer, capture the flag, worship, devotions, campfires, and an excellent bbq supper. I spent most of the evening in the kitchen preparing and cleaning up and had a blast doing it. After they left, we watched ‘The Soloist,’ a very touching movie about a man who was once a professional musician and who winds up on the streets because of schizophrenia. I got to put into practice what Kris taught us about biblically evaluating a movie!

On Sunday afternoon, we went over to the Andrews (a family from the church) for a Maori style Hungi. Basically, we dug a hole in the ground while chunks of iron (I think it was iron...) and large rocks were getting hot in a blazing fire. While this was happening, a bunch of us were chopping and preparing meat and vegetables which we placed in a wire basket lined with cabbage leaves (to keep the meat from burning but to allow some heat through). When the rocks and iron were hot, we put them in the hole and put the basket on top covered in wet blankets. We also put some water in the hole so that the food would cook and remain moist. We then covered the whole thing with lots of dirt so that no steam was escaping. While the food was cooking (it took 3 hours) we took turns tearing around a track the Andrews made in their old beat-up car, doing 360s, spitting up clouds of dust, and just having a blast!

Journal Week 26

- I need to lay scripture on my heart by memorizing it then I need to meditate on it: I need to receive it, personalize it, and apply it.

- The purpose of studying the Bible is to obey! I need to not only learn God’s commands but put them to practice. God is not impressed by my intentions. Imagine if Noah had said “Well, I really tried to build that ark...”

- The word of God is complete, totally inspired by God, without error, unchanging, profitable, practical, POWERFUL, it cannot diminish or decay, it is indestructible, and it is eternal.

- The belt of truth: the belt was the piece of armour that held every other piece of armour in it’s proper place. Therefore, I need to be grounded in Christ (that is truth). I cannot tolerate even a little bit of error mixed in with His truth (it would be like putting up with just a tiny bit of dog poop in a batch of brownies).

- I should be more excited by the person of Christ than by deciphering prophecy.

- No one can be deceived until they first reject what they know to be true.During the thousand year reign of Christ, tribulation saints will still be having children and repopulating the earth. Although everyone will outwardly serve Christ, it will be from the children of the tribulation saints that Satan will construct his army when he comes back one final time. This shows that even given the perfect circumstances, man will still do wrong!

Journal week 25

- Samson was an idiot! But his account makes it obvious that God will use us, whether we do what He wants or run in the opposite direction. In all situations, God is in control.

- The primary role of prophesy is not to tell the future but to reveal the person on Christ.

- Christ must be preeminent in my life, not prominent (one among many)

- Living the Christian life is not what I’m being delivered from but who I am being delivered to and that is Christ.

- When Daniel had to interpret Nebuchadnezzar’s dream, the first thing he did was call his friends to prayer and fasting. In the same way, I need to view prayer as a first resort not as a last ditch effort.

- God reveals things to me, not so that I may have more information, but so that He can transform me.

- Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were obedient to God even though it meant a trip through the fiery furnace. They based their obedience not on the perceived results, but rather simply trusted that God’s plan was best. Also, they knew God could save them from the flames, but they trusted that God would bring about the outcome that would bring Him the most glory, even if that meant death for the three friends.

- When I go through the fiery furnaces of life, the only thing that God burns away are the sins that keep me from intimate fellowship with Him. The safest place was the fire because that is where God is.

- Am I in complete submission to God? Who decides where I live, what I do, who I date, who I marry, what I eat, what I wear, what I say, what I think, what I read, what I watch...

- Brokenness, what God desires from me, is simply ‘no will of my own,’ total submission to and dependence on Christ.

- Children should be included in prayer meetings so that they can learn how to pray. Also, children should be taught to ‘eat’ and memorize scripture and the truths contained in God’s word should not be dumbed down for them.

- The role of the tribulation is not judgment but mercy because it will bring a great multitude to Himself.

- When I complain, it is basically saying that I think that what God is doing is not good enough

- Christ needs to be my sufficiency: everything I need to sustain, support, and nourish myself should be in Christ. I need to abide in Christ through moment by moment decisions to rely fully on Him, not simply doing a one hour quiet time each day. It must be a lifestyle, not a ‘good habit’

- I look forward to seeing my family again because I know and love them, how much more should I then be looking forward to the appearance of Jesus? Do I have eyes only for my bridegroom or am I distracted by the world?

- Pride is the sin that cause Satan to fall. If I aim ‘up,’ God will make it His aim to bring me down. Instead, I need to humble myself (meaning “no will of my own”).

- I need to recognize that I am in a spiritual battle. But God is not simply an equal but opposite opponent to Satan, He is ultimately in control and even Satan can do nothing that God does not allow Him to do.

- Demons first agenda is to tempt us to sin, but God will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can handle through His strength (but not all temptation is from demons). Demons can also possess (but as a Christian, I cannot be possessed because I have the indwelling spirit of Christ).

- Demons can deceive unbelievers (causing them to worship idols), but an unbeliever cannot be deceived until they first reject the truth. As a believer, I can also be deceived. Demons will attempt to sidetrack Christians by corrupting the truth.

- When it comes to angels, we have a completely passive role. I am not to pray to them or to worship them in any way. They never initiate anything, they are simply God’s messengers in carrying out God’s will.

- I need to respond to these spiritual truths, not with fear, but by firmly planning myself in God’s truth (Eph 6:10-18)

Week 26

This week was our second week of teaching by Jerry Benjamin on end times prophecy (he would correct me here saying that it is the revelation of Jesus Christ through end times event). It’s been good to get grounded in the proper perspective of Revelation, which is as showing the character of God rather than primarily about a sequence of events.

Wednesday was a really cool day for Adam and I because we got to lead the Timaru youth group. We really just wanted to present something in a way that would keep the kids focused, involved, thinking, and hopefully excited about the Word of God. While reading through Ephesians, I came across a passage (1:15-20) that basically summarized our prayer for the kids so we decided to do that. But other than what passage we were going to study, we really had no idea where we were going with the message so we spent tons of our prep time simply praying that God would reveal to us what and how He wanted us to present. The night before, after at least an hour of prep, we both went to bed kind of bummed thinking that either the whole thing would flop (according to our estimation, we had enough material to fill half an hour of the hour and a half we were meant to fill) or God would do something awesome and it would be amazing. As I was falling asleep, God seemed to ‘suggest’ that we should let them tear the passage apart by simply giving them guiding questions and then allow them to come up with their own applications. Anyway, our Bible study ended up finishing right on time (taking the full hour and a half) so that we didn’t have to use our time filler game. The kids were focussed, listening, and giving their input. Some of them blew us away with the depth of the stuff they were coming out with! Basically, it wasn’t us, because if it had of been, it would have flopped. Instead, God totally used us! We were pretty excited!

On Thursday, we had our first family night of the semester. With four of our student body gone, we all do family night together now instead of splitting into two groups. We all learned how to lawn bowl and it was tons of fun! Bryan and I lost every single game, but we did have some pretty good rounds! My legs are now really sore from the repeated kneeling!

After the game, as we got back to the Crossing, Dale was driving by so a bunch of us jumped onto his car. He actually drove us half way into town with three of us hanging on to the back, one of us on the hood, and two of us handing onto the side windows. At the highway he pulled over and we all crammed into the car (three of us were in the trunk!) and Dale drove us to town where we got ice cream (at 10pm!). We had a blast, laughing the whole way!

Jenny, a lady from the church, invited us girls to sleep over at her house for the weekend. It was really refreshing to have a good conversation with her and her daughter. I’ve found that it is increasingly difficult to have a deep conversation with people at the Crossing. Us girls will often talk like that when we’re alone, but as a whole group it seems to be a challenge, making for rather quiet meals.

On Saturday, I went with Jenny and her grandchildren to Josh’s rugby game (Josh is the son of Werner, one of our teachers). And on Sunday afternoon, Jenny took us all for a drive to Mesopotamia (that’s the name of a place an hour outside of Geraldine). The drive was beautifully scenic and we had tons of fun and lots of good conversation. It was such a blessing to get away for the weekend and it actually felt really good to come home afterwards.

On Monday for quiet day, I went out to Peel Forest where I hiked, prayed, read, fell asleep (only for a little while :P). It was a nice relaxing day simply spent with Jesus, especially after two weeks of hearing Jerry Benjamin’s teaching (which Colin described as drinking from a fire hose).